January 15th, 2020, Houston TX: In the wake of the cheating scandal, The Enron Corporation has filed suit in Federal Court to have their name disassociate with the disgraced Houston Astros. The legal entity ‘Enron Corporation’ a remnant shell company still existing for legal purposes has taken a bold step to have their name permanently disconnected and separated from the Houston Astros Baseball Corporation.
The Minute Made Corporation has also filed a separate suit against the Astros that would in effect remove their name from Houston’s ballpark. Steve Conniver, a spokesperson for Minute Made, was quoted by the AP as saying, ‘We will not subject our good name to the foul stench of cheating, the bankruptcy of character and void of being that the Houston Astros displayed.” Continuing “We, in good standing with the community of orange juice drinkers, will not tolerate nor sanction this dismal behavior.” Enron officials could not be reached nor would their parole officers comment on the decision.
Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions followed up his first campaign ad as a 2020 Senate candidate with open admiration for the LSU Football Program. Jeff Session announced that his support for LSU Football has been unwavering and he has never openly cheered against LSU Football. While being an Alabama Native, Jeff Sessions openly confessed his undying support for the LSU Football program after LSU clearly embarrassed the Red Tide this Saturday in Alabama. After the thorough 46 to 41 beatdown of Nick Saban’s team, the former AG said he would continue to support LSU Football and try to ‘work together’ for the things that matter most to LSU and the great state of Louisiana. Jeff Sessions could not be reached for comment but one of his staffers provide us with an LSU foam finger and purple and gold pom-poms.
Even in recent years, every stoner faced certain risks when going in for a toke while in Sin City. Ironically, in a city known for sin, vice and other entertainments, laws against cannabis use & possession were notoriously harsh. You might still bring a big bag of chronic to a bachelor party, but the smart stoners knew to keep it low key.
You can read about those times in the history books, because Nevada flipped the script. Vegas went legal and hasn’t looked back, and this fabulous, fun city now takes care of us stoners like it’s always taken care of drunken gamblers – by giving us what we need 24/7.
Next time you roll into Las Vegas needing your medicine, pop by one of the many dispensaries around town – we plucked three below to get you started, but peek around because you might have a golden dispensary sitting right next to your Motel 6 room. They’ll leave the lights on for you.
What can you say? Planet 13 is a massive, must-visit cannabis dispensary that seems more like a giant Apple tech store that a place to buy weed. You can see the future of cannabis now at one of the largest, most absurd weed shops on the planet
2548 West Desert Inn Road, Las Vegas, Nevada 89109
Right around the corner from Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen’s Club
Major hotels close by include Wynn Las Vegas, Encore & Treasure Island
Las Vegas ReLeaf Dispensary
If you’re staying in legendary Downtown Las Vegas, or getting your thrill ride on at the Stratosphere Hotel, you need to hit up Las Vegas ReLeaf Dispensary at the North end of town
Located practically on the Las Vegas strip, ReLeaf has a great shop with the killer THC and has been on top of the legal weed scene in Vegas as long as anyone
You can literally walk out of the shop and into a McDonald’s located right next door.
2244 Paradise Road, Las Vegas, Nevada 89104
Major hotels close by include Stratosphere, Westgate & Circus Circus
The Apothecarium Shoppe
On the West Side of town you can fill all of your THC needs & find great Daily Deals at The Apothecarium Shoppe
4240 West Flamingo Road, Las Vegas, Nevada 89103
Right across the street from The Palms Casino & right next door to Gold Coast Casino & Sonic Burger
In a sudden break from talks over air safety, the president raised his finger and exclaimed to the room, ‘ Do you know where this finger’s been?’. Attendees were uncertain what he meant or if he was asking a question about air safety. The meeting quickly veered back on course once he put down his finger and smiled assuredly to the air safety meeting attendees. When asked about the incident after the meeting, Trump said, ‘That’s the finger that pushes the button’. It is unclear what he meant by either statement.