June 1st 2020; The plaza between St. John’s Church and Lafayette Park was full of people (mostly American citizens) nonviolently protesting police brutality late Monday afternoon when U.S. Park Police and National Guard Troops fired rubber bullets and tear gas into the crowd. This was followed by a charge of the troops and a violent clearing of the area. A holy congregation from the White House marched through the cleared area and carefully positioned themselves in front of St. John’s Church for a photo op with a bible. When asked why the peaceful crowd was dispersed the White House responded, ‘we cleared the area of rioters, Antifa and dirty hippies so that the President could make a statement.’ Although no statement was made, the White House reiterated that the bible was ‘real’.
Unfortunately, some of the caustic tear gas entered the National Archives and damaged some of the older parchment-based documents. The US Constitution was one of the documents in the process of being moved and could have sustained serious damage from the caustic gas. When asked about the status of the US Constitution the White House said they were ‘unaware’.
Later in the week the President finally referred directly to the unfortunate black man who was executed by police on the streets of Minneapolis, George Floyd. “Hopefully George is looking down and saying this is a great thing that’s happening for our country. (It’s) a great day for him. It’s a great day for everybody,” The President said during a White House Rose Garden event before signing legislation devoted to corporate loans. When asked later why it was a great day for Mr. Floyd, The President responded, ‘In black heaven, there is no racism.’ The White House refused to elaborate on his answer.